Poker
by TakenHawkeye
Summary: Just a normal evening at the 4077th; poker, Frank-teasing, the works. Will review all who review me.


"That's it! I call house rule!" Hawkeye threw his cards down, looking up at the canvas above his head. "Make that tent rule."

BJ looked to where Hawkeye sat, arms up, chips gone, as he undid his watch and handed it to Radar. "What rule would that be?"

"No mind reading." He pointed an accusing finger in the young Corporal's general direction.

"I can't help it, sirs!" Radar cried, as he swept the pile of chips towards himself. "If you just wouldn't think about your cards --"

Father Mulcahy abruptly stood up, a slight smile playing about his face. "I think I must be going. I've made it a personal rule to quit while I'm behind." Setting his cards down, he nodded farewell to the others while slipping his hat on, and made his way for the door.

"Nothing quite like losing all your hard earned money on payday." Klinger glanced down at the single chip he still had. "Laverne's going to kill me."

"One of the many joys of poker." Colonel Potter grumbled. Tapping the makeshift table before him, he added. "Just deal, Hunnicut, so I can officially declare myself broke."

It was then that Frank stormed in, eyes narrowed, face flushed with anger. Mumbling to himself, he was halfway to his cot before he realized it was missing.

"Donald always eats with this fork, Donald always -- my cot!" He turned, looking wildly around, and noticed for the first time the crowd of people mid-poker game, sitting in his tent.

"I'll call." BJ threw a chip into the growing pile, and looked up. "Problem, Frank?"

"You look tired, Frank, why don't you lie down."

"You -- you -- you --"

"If only," Hawkeye nonchalantly picked up a chip from BJ's pile and threw it into the middle of the table, "I had your way with words."

"Degenerates!"

"You've used that one before, Frank."

"Who are all these people?" He pointed at the group, hand shaking in anger. "More buffoons you've roped into playing another game of your moral-lacking poker?"

"Careful what you say, Burns." Grinning, Colonel Potter peered out from the middle of the group, smiling. "You wouldn't want that lovely pin on your collar to suddenly become Captain's bars, would you?"

"Colonel, I didn't see you -- all I meant was -- of course you're not the buffoon, I meant these --" Frank lowered his hand, sputtering.

"Stop while you still can, Frank." Hawkeye grinned at Klinger, watching the man unwisely raise the bet.

"I wasn't talking to you!" Frank snapped, coming out of his momentary shock. "And what have you two fools done with my cot?"

Simultaneously, BJ and Hawkeye each raised an arm, pointing to the ceiling. Frank slowly looked up, and hurriedly rushed outside. His cries of fury and helplessness were soon heard.

Colonel Potter, fighting down a chuckle, glared across the growing pile of poker chips. "You boys put his cot on the roof?"

BJ feigned a look of shock. "Of course not, Colonel! How could you ever think such a thing of us?"

"I, personally, am appalled." Hawkeye put in. He glanced up at Radar wary of signs of mind-reading. "I would think you thought more highly of us."

"Only the bedding is on the roof." BJ continued. "We buried the frame outside of the OR."

Klinger let out a hooting laugh. "You buried it?"

"You two do realize I'm going to be hearing about this from Burns until kingdom come?"

Hawkeye shrugged. "A small price to pay."

Colonel Potter grinned. "Oh, don't worry, you'll have a price to pay." 

BJ and Hawkeye exchanged looks.

Radar looked up from the cards he held, declaring. "I fold." Instantly, a sigh of relief was heard from around the table.

"Alright then, chumps --" Klinger cut off, catching sight of the Colonel, " -- And Colonel, sir. Show me what you've got."

"Three lovely little Queens." BJ lowered his cards as Frank stormed back in.

"Colonel, I demand you punish these two -- two --"

"Don't strain yourself, Frank." Hawkeye turned his cards around, showing the table. "Four sevens."

"Colonel!"

Colonel Potter sighed. "Frank, you can take the VIP tent until these two get your cot back in order, right before they get around to digging the newest latrine." He looked up. "That suit you?"

Frank hesitated. "That sounds -- that sounds good. I'll just get my things then, and head over to -- thank you Colonel, it's about time someone punished --"

"Don't push your luck, Major." Colonel Potter turned away. "Damn, all I've got is two pair." He threw his cards down, watching the irate Major stalk out of the tent and in the direction of the VIP tent.

"Sir?" Radar spoke up. "The latrines have all been dug, there's no --"

"Oh, yes, that's right, I completely forgot." Colonel Potter interrupted, deadpanned. "Seems you boys are off the hook. Mighty lucky, I would say." He paused. "Don't count on luck next time."

Hawkeye grinned as BJ began to thank the Colonel by way of three poker chips.

Klinger threw his cards down. "That was the last of my pay! Lousy fives."

"I'll thank you all kindly for this lovely gift of a small fortune." Hawkeye glanced around at the rest of the table, sweeping the pile of chips towards himself. "Now that all is right with the world, how about drinks in the OR?" He paused, tilting his head in Radar's direction. "And a Grape Nehi for the Company Psychic over there. My treat."

Grumbling, the group began to pack up and head over to the Officer's Club.

"I'll tell you Pierce, I've seen some great comebacks in a game, but never in one hand." Colonel Potter muttered, pushing the door open.

Hawkeye made a motion that could be loosely described as a shrug. "I'm back on speaking terms with luck."

"Yeah," BJ grinned as the five of them made their way across the compound, "Not to mention three mirrors situated in rather interesting positions throughout the Swamp."

Hawkeye mocked gasped. "I am outraged at such attempts to slander my character." He paused. "That's my job." He grinned, pushing open the door to the Officer's Club and leading the way to the nearest empty table.

"Three scotch-on-the-rocks, one incredibly dry martini, and one Grape Nehi." BJ jerked his thumb over shoulder. "Put it on Hawk's tab."

Slowly they began to settle into their chairs, content with their evening, willing to jump at the opportunity for a night of fun like those so rarely seen at the 4077th. 


End file.
